The Infamous Crew™ at THE INFAMOUS JCITY™ website has several members and one of those members is Capt. Smooth. He has established himself as one of the most important members of The Infamous Crew™ despite the fact that he has never written a column that has been published on this website. He has left several witty and funny comments at THE INFAMOUS JCITY™ website, but his words have never appeared above the comments. Well actually that is not completely true. His words actually did appear in the column in which JCITY™ answered questions from visitors who left questions for him in the comments, but the questions Capt. Smooth and everybody else submitted were uncredited so it was an unofficial debut for Capt. Smooth. He seems like an interesting guy so I decided to interview him after Capt. Smooth told me that he was available for an interview.
My interview with Capt. Smooth is long so hopefully you will have learned a lot about him when you are finished reading this interview. I asked Capt. Smooth over 30 questions. We did the interview live in a chat box (thanks Chatroll!). I corrected his typos and put brackets around words he left out that I felt were necessary, but other than that, what you see is what he really wrote. Capt. Smooth is an interesting guy and I hope you enjoy the interview.
Tony Kegger: How did you get the name Capt. Smooth?
Capt. Smooth: It’s a parody of the “cooler-than-you” people you find on the net all the time. I can just picture some douche going around acting all “smooth”.
Tony Kegger: How did you first discover JCITY?
Capt. Smooth: I went to [John] Canton’s old chat box one day. J and Shaman were there talking and I acted like I was in a sex chat room, [and] then pretended that I noticed my mistake.
Tony Kegger: That’s hilarious!
Capt. Smooth: That’s my smartass sense of humor. My cousin once told me I inherited my family’s smartass gene.
Tony Kegger: According to the comments you write at JCITY’s website, you go see many movies. What are some of your favorite movies from this year and all-time?
Capt. Smooth: This year, Hangover, [Harry] Potter, X-Men, Thor, [and] Capt. [America]. I dabble in the “geeky”. All time, my favorites are Star Wars Episodes 3, 4, and 5.
Tony Kegger: I just saw Transformers 3 last week. Did you see that movie?
Capt. Smooth: Forgot about that one. I caught it when it first came out. Had a blast.
Tony Kegger: I felt it was too long but I liked it. I’m from Chicago so I enjoyed seeing Chicago get destroyed. What are your first memories of the WWE?
Capt. Smooth: Andre turning on Hogan in Piper’s Pit. As a little kid, I saw Andre rip the cross off of Hulk. From that moment on, I was hooked.
Tony Kegger: Who were your favorite WWE Superstars when you first started watching?
Capt. Smooth: Loved the faces. Hated the heels. I still do. It was when I got older that I could separate the performer from the character. I may boo a heel Christian, but when he goes into the HOF, I’ll be right there cheering him on.
Tony Kegger: Were you a big Hulkamaniac?
Capt. Smooth: Huge!!! The red and yellow. The power. The charisma. We’re lucky to have been around to witness his time in the ring.
Tony Kegger: Do you think John Cena is somewhat similar to Hulk Hogan or are there a lot of differences? I wasn’t around during the Hogan era. I was around during the Stone Cold era and there are very few comparisons between Cena and Stone Cold.
Capt. Smooth: Cena and Hogan are both the face of the WWE and are “nice guys”. Austin was an anti-hero. You can’t really compare the 2, because while they have many things in common, they were stars in different “fan eras”. HH was pre IWC, Cena doesn’t have that luxury. I still say it’s not the booking that has changed so much, it’s the fans.
Tony Kegger: Do you think Hogan and Cena both have similar gimmicks? Both of them seem like they don’t want to sell injuries and they look like Superman at times.
Capt. Smooth: They both seem “big time” as far as booking goes. Where it’s going to take a lot to put them down. Other than that, they’re just “guys”, not Undertakers, rich dudes, or Wild Samoans.
Tony Kegger: Who are your favorite WWE Superstars to watch currently?
Capt. Smooth: Cena, Punk, Truth, Santino, Kaitlyn (for the looks), Orton, and I’m really digging what Morrison does in the ring. He “wows” the crowd.
Tony Kegger: What do you like about the WWE?
Capt. Smooth: It’s not so much because it’s the “WWE”, it’s more that I love what wrestling is. Great matches, cool moves, goofy comedy, serious moments where you see the best of everyone, etc.
Tony Kegger: What are your current thoughts on this new era in the WWE that CM Punk has dubbed the “Reality Era”? What was your reaction when CM Punk started name dropping the recently released Superstars on RAW on August 8?
Capt. Smooth: I’m not sure we will get into a new “era”. Many in the IWC are already complaining that the Punk stuff is “stale”. A good amount seem to have A.D.D. It’s just one reason that I think it’s the fans who have changed more than the booking. Now, to Punk…it’s pretty damn cool that WWE allows him some room. I wish they did it to more people on TV, but what are you going to do?
Tony Kegger: Do you think the WWE needs to be TV-14 again or a little bit more edgy?
Capt. Smooth: I don’t think it “needs” to, but I’d love to have a bit more edge. It may come around as the PG kids of today get older.
Tony Kegger: If a Superstar accidentally got busted open during a match, do you think the WWE should continue their policy of stopping the match to clean up the blood? What are your thoughts about that policy?
Capt. Smooth: If the cut is bad to where somebody could bleed to death, yes. Most times, I think it adds to the match if it is allowed to go on.
Tony Kegger: I personally feel that the WWE needs to stop trying to make their product kid friendly. The WWE is probably tame compared to most of the stuff kids watch these days.
Capt. Smooth: True, but I get the reason why. I’d love to have more edge, but it’s not so much the kids or parents that will have a problem with it, it’ll be the sponsors who do.
Tony Kegger: I watched the Attitude Era when I was 11 and a lot of kids my age did too.
Capt. Smooth: Exactly, but it’s who is helping pay for the show. If that cash goes away, your profits go down.
Tony Kegger: I think it must be the parents and the sponsors. Sadly, the deal with Mattel probably won’t help make it edgier but WWE action figures were around in the Attitude Era for what it’s worth.
Capt. Smooth: Damn Mattel! I’m going with Hasbro (approved by Zack Ryder)!
Tony Kegger: TNA’s edgy product isn’t really very successful at the moment so I think the WWE is feeling no pressure to get more edgy.
Capt. Smooth: Yeah, Impact has deeper problems, but any company that can be around for 10 years with WWE as the big dog is doing SOMETHING right.
Tony Kegger: Do you think a big reason why the Attitude Era was so successful was because the internet wasn’t as big back then as it is today?
Capt. Smooth: BINGO! Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner! And as good as that net has been, it’s the main reason why the fans have changed.
Tony Kegger: Would Smackdown be as interesting as RAW without the spoilers? Spoilers weren’t that big in 1999.
Capt. Smooth: Yeah, if SD were live, people wouldn’t know what was going on nearly as much. Plus, you can add the fact that it’s on YouTube hours before it comes on at night.
Tony Kegger: Yeah I know! A SummerSlam match was just announced today (August 12) and I’m sure it will be confirmed on tonight’s televised Smackdown broadcast that is already on YouTube. Would the Christian-Orton feud be more enjoyable if the initial title change didn’t leak on the internet?
Capt. Smooth: To me, the whole thing is dumb (great matches though). Christian didn’t need to lose his title after five days. He didn’t need to turn heel. It could’ve been a terrific face vs. face angle.
Tony Kegger: Face vs. face angles doesn’t really exist anymore. The WWE wants it to be clear that there is a good guy and a bad guy. Because of that, I’m positive either Triple H or John Cena or both are turning heel at SummerSlam.
Capt. Smooth: I hope not. Mainly because many of the people who boo HHH or Cena now would be cheering them on as a heel. I wouldn’t mind a story where Cena turned heel, then about a month later, have it be a set-up where he’s really a face all along. The smark freakouts would be heavenly.
Tony Kegger: I loved heel Triple H. He was my first favorite heel.
Capt. Smooth: Heel HHH bored me after a bit. It was like what people complain about with Cena, but to the nth degree. HHH sold more, but he rarely won by himself. He wasn’t “that damn good”.
Tony Kegger: If you ran the WWE, what changes would you make?
Capt. Smooth: One, they’re employees, so they get health insurance. Two, every three months, a certain group will get a week off to recharge. It would be staggered, so that there is plenty of people who can fill that void. Three, bring back WWE Ice Cream Bars!
Tony Kegger: Would you make any roster changes? Would you have anyone appear more? Less? Is there anyone you would decide to give a bigger push to?
Capt. Smooth: I’d get as many as possible on TV as much as possible, so the fans would know who these people are. And I’d try a bunch of things a few times just to see what sticks. Who knew rapper Cena would become as big as he did? Return the Halloween shows as well.
Tony Kegger: You are a big fan of JCITY’s website. You write a lot of comments on his site all of the time. Have you ever considered contributing something to his website as a writer?
Capt. Smooth: I’d love to, but I’m a slow ass writer, my schedule is hectic, and my strength is my wit, peppering the comment section with quips. Also, I’m DUMB with tech.
Tony Kegger: Have you ever considered doing something short? What if I showed you a bunch of photos and you just wrote captions for each one? You are really good at that.
Capt. Smooth: Where would I write the captions? And how would I get them to you?
Tony Kegger: We could figure that out. Worst case scenario, we would do it in a chat box like we are doing right now for this interview.
Capt. Smooth: That’d work. Thanks.
Tony Kegger: So you would be interested?
Capt. Smooth: Sure. I couldn’t do anything with e-mail, but this would be perfect.
Tony Kegger: Speaking of e-mail, you have said you can’t reveal your e-mail because of your job. What interesting stuff can you reveal about yourself that you won’t get you in trouble with your job?
Capt. Smooth: *looks out for snipers* I got my pinky finger caught underneath the vacuum cleaner when I was one and a half years old. It burned all the way to the bone, all the nerves, and I had to wear a cast for about six months. The doctors had to take skin from my leg and put it where my pinky is.
Tony Kegger: Ouch! I guess you don’t remember that but damn!
Capt. Smooth: There is a picture of me with my cast on and I have a Cubs uniform on. I look like an injured Baseball player. The injury didn’t hurt, because it burned all the nerves out. My mom told me the doctors would stick pins in the wound to see if I could feel it. I’m sure there is more [interesting stuff about me], but I just don’t know what I find interesting and what the readers would.
Tony Kegger: You want to give it a try? People don’t know much about you. I think most people assume you work for the C.I.A. and report to President Obama.
Capt. Smooth: Not me at all. “Alpha Squad 2, the mission is a go!”
Tony Kegger: Is it true that 40 people could lose their jobs because of you? I would love to have that kind of power!
Capt. Smooth: Not just me, but anybody.
Tony Kegger: What are some of your interests other than Wrestling?
Capt. Smooth: Music, politics, culture, basketball, etc.
Tony Kegger: What kind of music do you like?
Capt. Smooth: I’ll listen to just about anything other than country. I just can’t handle it. As far as what I like, my favorites are (singer) Marvin Gaye, (band/group) don’t have one, and (song) Born to be Wild by Steppenwolf is [number] one, What’s Going On? by Marvin Gaye is two, and What You Won’t Do For Love by Bobby Caldwell is three.
Tony Kegger: What do you like to do for fun?
Capt. Smooth: I enjoy coming on here and chatting with people. I love going to the movies! The big reason for that might be that when I was a little kid, I hardly ever went to the movies. Too poor. Now that I have a little cash, I enjoy the show. During the spring/summer, I read my Potter books. They’re odd, because they start out as these charming “kids” books and end up being a bloodbath. During the fall/winter, I enjoy doing big Christmas puzzles. I don’t really care for other types, but I like these.
Tony Kegger: When did you first become an “IWC” fan?
Capt. Smooth: I became a member when Eddie [Guerrero] died. I googled his name and wound up at 411mania.com. Been going there ever since.
Tony Kegger: What made you decide to become a follower of JCITY?
Capt. Smooth: I couldn’t join in the comment box at TJR (The John Report) due to the e-mail issue and J started TheRealShyt when Canton’s box closed.
Tony Kegger: You write a lot of funny comments at JCITY’s website. How did you get so good at making witty comments?
Capt. Smooth: My extended family (on my Mom’s side) is constantly trying to out-pun each other and is good with words. I guess I picked that up.
Tony Kegger: What do you like about JCITY?
Capt. Smooth: You get the sense that he’s really a nice guy. He’s very creative. He’s into wrestling (That’s most important, right?). Plus, he laughs at my bad jokes.
Tony Kegger: That’s all of the questions I wanted to ask you. Thanks for all of your answers.
Capt. Smooth: Sure thing. Thanks for making me a Z-level celebrity! I can become a Q-level one with a sex tape, so I’ll have to run and find somebody to help me make that happen. *extends hand for an e-shake*
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