Exclusive Interview With Shaman's Harvest

This is was first ever exclusive interview and my first guest was THE INFAMOUS JCITY™ writer Shaman's Harvest. Shaman wrote his first article for TIJ on March 6, 2011 and is currently a regular contributor. 

Shaman has been conducting several interviews for TIJ recently. Shaman likes to (fictionally) interview WWE Superstars. His interviews are actually very funny and they have become very popular. I recently told him that doing interviews aren't that hard and he challenged me to do an interview. I asked him who I should interview and he suggested that I interview him. I accepted Shaman's offer immediately because I think Shaman is an interesting dude and I enjoy his work. I don't know much about Shaman other than that he is from Canada and he has an insanely creative imagination so that's why I wanted to interview him. I have done interviews when I was in school and I have interviewed wrestlers but they were amateur wrestlers like Kurt Angle when he was in the 1996 Olympics. I'm not saying I interviewed Kurt Angle...I'm saying back in 1996, Kurt Angle was a real wrestler and the wrestlers I interviewed were real like him. Shaman's Harvest is the first professional wrestling related person I have ever interviewed.  By the way, Shaman likes to do interviews that are based on fiction but I promise you that everything in my interview is 100% real. I can't guarantee that what Shaman is saying is the truth but what you will see are the answers he gave me.

I would have loved to interview Shaman live via an internet chat room or Instant Messenger but he asked me to email him my questions and I decided that would be the easiest way to do the interview instead of trying to figure out a time both of us would be available for a live interview. A live interview would have been interesting because it would have gave me an opportunity to ask him questions based on his responses but the email interview worked out fine. What I am going to do though is provide my thoughts after each of Shaman's responses so you can get my reaction to what Shaman said. 

There's one last thing I need to mention before you read the interview. Shaman's Harvest gave me permission to edit anything he said. I appreciate that but other than misspellings or punctuation errors, I did not edit much of what Shaman sent to me. This will be Shaman's Harvest uncut and uncensored. I will include words he accidently left out by putting them in brackets but everything else will be 100% Shaman's Harvest. So if you read a sentence that doesn't make much sense when you read it, blame Shaman and not me. I'm not trying to make Shaman look dumb or anything but I hate misquoting people. When I do interviews, you will never hear anyone complaining about me reporting something that wasn't said. If someone does complain about being misquoted, I assure you that the person is lying. The only time people will be misquoted is if I write a disclaimer in the beginning of an interview stating that the interview is fictional. This interview is 100% real.

Sorry for the long introduction. Please enjoy my exclusive interview with Shaman's Harvest.

Tony Kegger: Thanks for agreeing to get interviewed by me. My first question is did you have previous interviewing experience before becoming an exclusive interviewer for The Infamous JCITY™?

Shaman's Harvest: Believe it or not, I have no previous experience in the art of Exclusive Interviews. theinfamousjcity.com is a great place to gain experience in any and all aspects of journalism.

theinfamousjcity.com - Click the damn link!

Kegger's Reaction: I'm actually a little bit shocked that Shaman doesn't have a journalism background from school. He is really good at interviews for someone with no previous experience.

TK: What inspired you to start interviewing WWE Superstars for The Infamous JCITY™?

SH: As The Infamous JCITY'S unofficial sidekick I feel it's my duty to tag along with everything he decides to do as I clearly am unable to do things by myself. So once he started theinfamousjcity.com, I felt a need to contribute. First I wrote about Mae Young's pussy but then I thought to myself, “Can I really write about an woman's sex life weekly?" First I decided yes, but it clearly didn't work out that way. Then I reviewed Smackdown once but realized it was hard work! I couldn't do that weekly. Then I wrote about Handrew Henry, Mae Young's bastard hand child, where I only go to part one of the saga. The original plans were to have him escape the orphanage, become a hand model who feels dirty, get his life back together, try to get a job on the Adamms Family, then meet and fall in love with Handrea, a lady hand...but of course none of that happened because I raped him.

THEN once I returned to theinfamousjcity, I tried to find a way to write easy weekly columns that really require no thinking at all, like daily headlines. I eventually decided I'd write about Zack Ryder, a popular guy who does nothing. I decided to do it in interview form and after fairly positive reviews, I continued my interviews. And that's my life story. Can't wait until the movie comes out. I want Justin Bieber to play me [and] Teddy Long to play JCITY.

Kegger's Reaction: I loved Shaman's article on Handrew Henry and I was waiting for Part Two. It's nice to find out what Shaman's plans were for the rest of the saga. I think he could still write Part Two if he really wanted to. Did anyone else notice that Shaman dissed Andrew Johnson from The John Report when he mentioned "daily headlines"?

TK: Are you planning on interviewing The Miz some day? Why do you hate him so much?

SH: Will I interview Miz? Hmmmm....if people haven't figured it out yet I usually only interview people I like so it doesn't come off like a hate column. I'm a Broski so I interviewed Ryder, I preferred when Hogan/Bitchoff weren't in TNA so I talked to Dixie, I wanted Luke Robinson to win TE (Tough Enough) so I interviewed him, Booker T and Cole are hilarious so I spoke with them, and John Morrison is amazing so I went deeper into their lives. Just because I say they're idiots, faggots, whores, or have no genitals doesn't mean I don't like them.

Now on to Miz, it's not like I have some unexplained deep personal hatred for him. I never minded The Miz. Mike Mizanin, the person, seems like a really nice and fun guy. The Miz as a character is different. What really started pissing me off about him is that I see him as a good mid-carder, that's all. Imagine it this way, how would you feel if David Otunga won the WWE title and went on to main event Wrestlemania and everyone loved it? I don't hate David Otunga, but him getting that far because he's married to Jennifer Hudson would piss me off, just like Miz being in the main event because he's on talk shows pisses me off because preformance wise he's not a WM main eventer. So it's basically all your faults I hate The Miz. Good job people. He's in the right place now. So will I ever interview him? Maybe. If he breaks up with Maryse I will for sure!

Kegger's Reaction: So Shaman interviews people he likes? I didn't know that. He called Luke Robinson a faggot and he said that Zack Ryder dresses like a homosexual hippie so I assumed he hated those guys. As for Shaman's question about Otunga winning the WWE Championship, I actually like Otunga so that was a bad example. If he said Zack Ryder instead of Otunga, then I would understand how Shaman feels about The Miz. I would hate it if Zack Ryder won the WWE Championship just because he has a somewhat popular YouTube show. I'm okay with him being Teddy Long's personal assistant. I see Ryder as a comedy guy and nothing more.

TK: Who is your favorite WWE Superstar?

SH: Oh my God there's so many! Obviously CM Punk, then there's Randy Orton, Christian, John Cena, Drew McIntyre, John Morrison, Husky Harris, The Rock, Zack Ryder, Wade Barrett, Daniel Bryan, Undertaker, R. Truth (not necessarily in that order)....I like a lot of them...but if I had to choose a favourite it would be John Morrison.

Kegger's Reaction: Husky Harris? I like Husky too but not enough to say he is among my favorites. I can't believe Shaman actually mentioned Husky in the same sentence as guys like The Rock and Undertaker. I like Drew McIntyre too. I wish he was used on TV more often. By the way, the band Shaman's Harvest performed McIntyre's music which just reminded me that I should have asked Shaman about how he got his name. Oh well...maybe next time.

TK: When did you first become a WWE fan?

SH:  I've watched it on and off my entire life. I really started watching it regularly during the Evolution days. Triple H was amazing, I thought Batista had a great presence, and Randy Orton feuding with [Mick] Foley was one of my favourite feuds ever. I didn't watch Smackdown as much but I always liked Brock Lesnar. I didn't “officially join the IWC" until 2009, a few months before John Canton started TJR (The John Report).

Kegger's Reaction: Shaman was the one who put quotes around "officially join the IWC". That was not my decision. I didn't understand why that needed to be quoted but I left it alone. In case you were wondering, Evolution was a WWE stable that existed from 2002 to 2005 so I'm assuming that Shaman started watching the WWE during that time period. Those were three of the six or seven years I didn't see after I stopped watching the WWE in 2002 so I missed the whole Evolution Era. That's too bad because I think I would have loved it.

TK: Who has been your favorite WWE employee to interview so far?

SH: Luke Robinson....not really, Booker T's the only one who's been nice to me. Booker's so easy to interview because he makes a fool of himself every week on Smackdown just by being outrageous. He called a spinebuster a sidewalk slam on Smackdown! He can make funny interviews without much effort.

Kegger's Reaction: The Booker T interview is hilarious. Click here to read it. Booker T also called a Alabama Slam a sidewalk slam on RAW.

TK: Who do you plan on interviewing in the future?

SH: I don't want to spoil much but I've had plans of interviewing the Infamous Crew™, The TNA lockeroom, the WWE Divas, some random backstage guy who just lost his job, Vince McMahon, and R. Truth's is still coming.

Kegger's Reaction: I'm looking forward to the R-Truth interview and now I'm interested in reading the interview about the random backstage guy who got fired.

TK: Will you be interviewing any of the WWE Divas other than Melina?

SH: All of them!!!!!!!!!! Maybe.

Kegger's Reaction: I wonder if that includes Gail Kim now that she quit the WWE. I hope he interviews the Bella Twins.

TK: Speaking of Melina, what are your thoughts about Melina getting released from the WWE?

SH: I hope she doesn't bitch about it too much and ruin things even more for John Morrison. Besides that, I don't care too much. If this was 2006 Melina it would be different, but time changes people. I know she was very passionate about wrestling, but I don't give a shit about the divas division. They should release them all or have more pillow fights. The release that bothered me the most though was David Hart Smith's. I thought he had a big upside.  

Kegger's Reaction: I like the pillow fights idea. I'm not too bothered about DH Smith. There's too much talent for him to make an impact in the WWE (TNA pun not intended). He didn't get a chance to talk much and I strongly believe that those who don't get mic time are in trouble. Some people may not feel mic skills are an important wrestling skill to have but it really is important. 

TK: Do you think you are the king of interviews?

SH: I'm the king of fake interviews. Why? Because no one else does them.

Kegger's Reaction: This was a weak question by me and as a result I got a mediocre response. Shaman's response does make sense though.

TK: What was your immediate reaction and thoughts when you saw that JCITY wrote an article that said you had died?

SH: It was nice of him to write an entire column about me even if he called me a liar, racist, virgin, [and] faggot. Besides that I just enjoyed all the Layla pics. God I miss her.

Kegger's Reaction: I was hoping Shaman would go into a little more detail. Forget the fact that JCITY called him a liar, racist, virgin, and a faggot. He told the entire IWC that Shaman was dead!! That's quite a strong assumption to make just because Shaman wasn't responding to emails or posting on Twitter. Unfortunately, people often do make those assumptions. I'm a Chicago Cubs fan and I am a semi-regular member of the Cubs message board. A few years ago, I used to post there a lot and whenever the members and I noticed that a fellow poster had stopped posting, we would start wondering if he or she was in prison or dead. Somehow, we never thought that maybe that poster found something more important to do in his or her life than spending hours online posting on a message board. I rarely post at that message board myself now so I wonder if the other posters are wondering if something bad happened to me. That stuff happens but I don't think JCITY should have devoted an entire column to Shaman's "death" without solid evidence. I can't imagine how I'd react if I read that I had died. However, if the column was meant to be a joke and not serious then I take back what I said.

UPDATE (August 20, 2011 10:25 AM CT): JCITY wrote, "As for the Shaman is dead thing, it wasn't a damn joke. I send this fucker an email and I said that if he didn't reply I was just going to assume he was dead. I gave it a week, no reply, so I thought the fucker was dead. I don't do works. Everything I write is authentic. I only planned one work ever and it never came to fruition." 

TK: Is there anything interesting that the IWC (Internet Wrestling Community) doesn't know about you?

SH: Sure, but the IWC doesn't need to know about that. My mommy always told me not to give personal information to strangers on the Internet. If you want to know something, I'm also a big hockey fan. I get Leafs TV, the NHL network, [and] tons of hockey cards. I used to watch hockey way more than wrestling, but the [Toronto Maple] Leafs have sucked ever since the lockout so I haven't watched much lately. I hate Brain Burke as a GM (General Manager). He thinks way too defensively (even though they still suck defensively). They [trade] for crap forward-wise besides [Phil] Kessel and since they gave away all their draft picks to get him, not much is coming anytime soon.

Kegger's Reaction: I wasn't expecting anything really personal. It's cool that Shaman is a big hockey fan. I'm a big sports fan too but my favorite sports at the moment are basketball and American football and both of them are in their off-seasons so I'm a huge WWE fan right now. I used to be a big baseball fan but Chicago's two teams, the Cubs and White Sox, both suck right now.

TK: What are your thoughts about JCITY and his website, The INFAMOUS JCITY™?

SH: JCITY is an interesting fella. He actually goes by the name JCITY™ and it wouldn't surprise me if he actually went for a trademark on it. I think he should keep reviewing Raw and Smackdown because he's really good at it, but for some unexplained reason he will NEVER do that again. theinfamousjcity.com is a great site. JCITY's one of the few people who would actually edit and post a column about the adventures of a hand. He's posted all but one of my columns, it was Justin Bieber's version of The Time Is Now, but it's best that it never sees the light of day. More people need to read and comment on theinfamousjcity.com though. Maybe I should go on Lil' Jimmy Kimmel Live and promote it then I can be a fake big deal just like The Miz!

Kegger's Reaction:  JCITY revealed recently that he did get JCITY trademarked. I would love to read that Justin Bieber column. Shaman is one of my favorite IWC writers and I read everything he writes. Imagine if you were a huge Michael Jackson fan and found out he recorded a bunch of songs before he died that were never released. Those songs could suck but you wouldn't care because it's Michael Jackson so you want to hear them. I feel similar about Shaman's Harvest. Whenever I write stuff that I feel isn't good enough to send to JCITY, I post it on this website. If Shaman ever writes something that JCITY rejects, I would love to post it on my site.